What To Do If A Friend Is Using

It is often very difficult for children to know what to say or do if a friend is using illegal substances. More than likely if a friend is using, your child will encounter situations when he or she will be asked to try the drugs. Knowing what to say in those difficult situations can help your child remain drug-free. One of the ways that you can help your child with these issues is to practice saying no ahead of time. Here are some suggestions, which you may consider:

• Set aside fifteen minutes to talk with your child. Review your expectations about drugs. Explain that there will be times when he/she will be asked by a friend to join in, trying or abusing tobacco, alcohol, and illegal substances. Tell your child that you know he or she wants to meet your expectations, and that practice will help your child feel more confident.
• "The reason that we are practicing how you will respond if your friends are using is so that you can feel ready to handle this if it comes up. It is not that I don't trust you."
• "I know you may feel silly acting this out with me. I feel a little silly too. But practicing ahead of time will make it easier for you, and I'll feel better too."
• "Pretend that I am someone you like and I say to you, 'Come on, have a drink or have a little dope!' What would you say to me? What if I were someone a little older than you and you were a little scared of me, what would you say to me then?"
• "What if I ignored you when you said no, or I said, 'What are you, a nerd?' What would you say to me then? What if I said, 'Hey, it's really good, I like it!' What would you say to them?"
• If your child does not respond to these questions, try suggesting an answer. Ask if your response would be a good one. Your child may be quick to point out why what you have said wouldn't work. Agree that may be so, and ask your child what would be a better response, or what might another good friend say who does not use drugs.
• After practice, praise your child. Tell your child how proud you are of how he or she can say no to drugs.

Some simple reminders for your child about saying no:

1. "Remember, I want you to say no if a friend or stranger offers you alcohol or any other drugs at this age."
2. "You can always just say no. You don't have to give an explanation to anyone for choosing not to drink."
3. "It's easier to say no if you practice ahead of time."
4. "If your friends or others pressure you, you can always walk away."
5. "If you see your friends using, you can walk away, or call me to pick you up."
6. "You can always come to talk about these situations with me. I'll help."¹

Students Can Help Other Students To Resist Drugs

Although students are the primary victims of drug use in the schools, drug use cannot be stopped or prevented without their active participation in this effort. You can let your child know that in addition to saying no and resisting peer pressure to do drugs, your student can help fight drug use by:

• Participating in open discussions about the extent of the problem at their own school.
• Supporting a strong school anti-drug policy and firm, consistent enforcement of the rules.
• Teaching other students, particularly younger ones, about the harmful effects of drugs.
• Encouraging you as a parent to join with other parents to promote a drug-free environment outside of school. Some successful parent groups have been started as a result of the pressure of a son or daughter who was concerned about drugs.
• Setting a positive example for fellow students and speaking forcefully against drug use.
• Starting a drug-resistance club or other activity to create positive, challenging ways for young people to have fun without drugs. Obtaining adult sponsorship for the group and publicizing its activities.
• Encouraging friends who have a drug problem to seek help and reporting persons selling drugs to parents and the principal.

¹ Adapted from: Talking With Your Child About Alcohol: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents and Other Caring Grown Ups. (1994) National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc.

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